


I'll Make You a Star

by Ryuutchi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama!! Action!!, Georgi's Noir Influence, M/M, Not What It Looks Like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuutchi/pseuds/Ryuutchi
Summary: The blades inched closer and Yuuri glanced over his shoulder at Inspector Victor Nikiforov. He was shifting his shoulders, expression gone a little blank, like he was considering something. Victor blinked, noticing Yuuri’s look from the corner of his eye and brightened. “What drama!” he exclaimed. “So, Yuuri, what daring plan do you have to get us out of this?”ORThings are very much not what they seem.





	I'll Make You a Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artnica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artnica/gifts).



> I know this isn't _quite_ one of the AUs you asked for, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. It was a lot of fun to write.
> 
> Thanks go to Zedstream for support (and some of Victor's lines) and Oberstein for the beta.

Yuuri wasn't a bad detective-- he was a very good detective, all things considered. He solved the cases he was hired to solve, and if things had a tendency to go a little pear-shaped... Well, that was just the way the job went when you did anything more complicated than sneak around after some seedy husband with your camera in hand. That doesn’t make the situation any easier when you’ve ended up tied to a column with several large blades aimed at your head and torso; tied up next to a very frustrating, very handsome, very charming police inspector who may or may not want to arrest you for murder and art theft. He wiggled his fingers experimentally, testing the give on the ropes. There wasn’t much, not that he expected Guanghong to have left him any room to maneuver.

“It’s certainly exciting being around you, Yuuri,” Victor said, his voice pitched low. If they weren’t about to be killed, Yuuri might have gone red at the way Victor seemed to delight in curling his tongue around the syllables of his name. As it was, he felt the tips of his ears get warm. “I didn’t expect that following you into the Leo-Ji mansion would show me such a kinky side of you.”

Yuuri groaned. The man seemed strangely okay with the fact that the blades were inching ever closer, and that Guanghong was moving his cameras around, presumably trying to get the best shots of their untimely demise for his Youtube channel. “I think we have more important things to think about than the ropes right now. A little hard to arrest me, or-- or anything else if we’re dead in five minutes.”

“Do you two mind screaming a little? Maybe crying?” Guanghong shifted a tripod three millimeters to his right. “It’s just, you know, I think I’m too young for the racy talk.” He smiled sweetly and Yuuri stifled a sigh. Guanghong Ji, self-made millionaire and owner of at least four Youtube channels dedicated to bespoke violence and death, didn’t look like the kind of boy who knew thirty seven different ways to kill you with his bare hands. His soft, freckled cheeks made him look round and gentle when he smiled. It made him look angelic. “I always get more viewers when someone starts crying.”

The blades inched closer and Yuuri glanced over his shoulder at Inspector Victor Nikiforov. He was shifting his shoulders, expression gone a little blank, like he was considering something. Victor blinked, noticing Yuuri’s look from the corner of his eye and brightened. “What drama!” he exclaimed. “So, Yuuri, what daring plan do you have to get us out of this?”

Glancing at Guanghong to make sure his regard was elsewhere, Yuuri wriggled a little again, trying to shake out his sleeve. “I don’t really plan,” he said, “I leave that to the police.” That was a little bit of a lie, because if you wanted to survive as a detective on the hard-scrabble streets of Hasetsu, you had to pick up some tricks. “Can you bend back towards me? I don’t have enough slack in these ropes.” He reached up, trying to twist his hands into his shirt’s cuff.

“Anything for you, lyubov moya.” Victor arched, cat-like, shifting his body to try and loosen the tension on Yuuri’s wrists. “Just move quickly please, I can’t hold--aah! this position for very long.”

Chancing another look behind him, Yuuri winced, and twisted his wrists harder. When Victor arched, he had shifted his hips into range of the blades’ leading edge. Yuuri couldn’t see the cut, but a gleeful clap from Guanghong said everything he needed to know.

“Yes! That’s more like it! Blood, love, sacrifice! I’ll have to get Leo to compose something to dub over this beautiful scene.” Guanghong laughed and bent over a camera.

With a hiss of breath, Yuuri finally managed to work open his shirt cuff and the small blade he kept tucked there for emergencies. “You can move, Inspector,” he said, and immediately the ropes tightened another fraction as Victor gratefully moved away from the blades again. They were getting a little close for comfort. “Why,” Yuuri said to Guanghong, “ are you like this?”

“I could tell you all about my tragic childhood,” he responded, and padded around to the other side of the room, presumably to check on Victor’s angles. “But that’s not what my viewers are here for! They’re here for the beautiful drama of your demise. I’ll make you a star, Yuuri.”

“Fuck your viewers,” Victor said and the way he flinched away from another blade almost made Yuuri lose his grip on the knife he was using to slice at their bonds.

Yuuri hissed a quick “careful” in Victor’s ear. If he lost the knife they were in a lot of trouble that they wouldn’t be able to get out of.

Guanghong shrugged. “Not really my thing, Inspector Nikiforov. Victor. Do you mind if I call you Victor? Not that it will matter for much longer, honestly. But you will look so beautiful in death, and I’m sure that this will be one of my most-watched videos yet.”

“Yuuri Katsuki, solnyshko, light of my life, any time now,” Victor murmured. He tugged at the ropes that bound them together to the column and made a sound as the blades whirred another inch towards them. “The police department might sue Ji out of his house if I die, but I’d really rather not die and find out.”

Yuuri could feel the rope fraying beneath his fingers, but not fast enough. The pit of anxiety yawned at the pit of his stomach, threatening to numb his fingers and swallow him whole, the way it did so often during cases. If he gave into it now, he wouldn’t just be fucking up, they’d both be dead. So he shoved the sensation aside and promised himself a week of hiding from all responsibility if he survived. He sawed faster at their bonds, giving up all pretense of subtlety.

“Wait, what are you doing,” Guanghong yelped as the ropes fell, and both Yuuri and Victor dove away from the pillar just in time to avoid being sliced open from groin to throat. “That’s not fair, hey!”

Yuuri rolled to his feet in time to see the small man be shoved up against a wall with one of Victor’s deceptively slim-fingered hands around his throat. Victor’s face was a mask of ice and the police-issue gun in his free hand pushed up beneath Guanghong’s chin. Yuuri could see the startled, shallow gasps Guanghong was making, the way his shoulders were beginning to shake with tension and--

Both Victor and Guanghong burst into laughter. Victor released the younger man, doubling over in a fit of giggles and Guanghong slumped against the wall.

“CUT!” Georgi waved at Emil to stop the cameras rolling on the group and stormed over. Yuuri, now that the tension of the scene had been broken, couldn’t help a stray grin. “Damn it, if we don’t get this scene down, we won’t have time for editing and Yakov will have all our heads. Come on, get it out, get it out.” Georgi grumbled a little, but Yuuri didn’t miss the smile tugging at his lips too.

Victor stepped away from the wall to drape his arms over Yuuri and tug him close for a kiss. “Your acting is amazing, Yuuri. I never thought of you as the gruff detective type, but I wouldn’t mind double-crossing you any day.” He winked and Yuuri’s cheeks flared red.

“Lucky you,” Yuuri responded, stealing a kiss from his boyfriend, “That’s just what you get to do in the next scene. Now, come on. We have to reset the death trap.”

“I’m on it,” Yurio said, pushing up his sleeves as he stepped past them. “Next time, put yourselves out of my misery and try not to escape.”


End file.
